Next Quilting Date is
Monday, February 6th, 2023
Same Time, Same Place
SHOW AND TELL - From Jan 23rd, 2023
and some funnies.
Thanks Louise
Rudolf Nurewyev
Diego goes to the Doctor for a
Check-Up
Thank you Dorris
A sardonic senior might
say. . .
As I’ve grown older,
I’ve learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a
piece of cake.
I’m responsible for what I say, not what you understand.
Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it the most never use
it.
My tolerance for idiots is extremely low these days. I used to have some
immunity built up, but obviously there's a new strain out there.
It’s not my age that bothers me; it’s the side effects.
I’m not saying I’m old and worn out, but I make sure I’m nowhere near
the kerb on bin day.
As I watch this generation try and rewrite our history, I'm sure of one
thing: It will be misspelled and have no punctuation.
Me, sobbing: "I can't see you anymore. . . I'm not going to
let you hurt me again."
My Trainer: "It was one sit-up.”
As I’ve got older, people think I’ve become lazy. The truth is I’m just
being more energy efficient.
I haven't done anything today. I've been in the Produce Department trying to
open this stupid plastic bag.
If you find yourself feeling useless, remember it took 20 years, trillions of
dollars, and four presidents to replace the Taliban with the Taliban.
Turns out that being a "senior" is mostly just googling how to do
stuff.
I want to be 18 again and ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.
God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of
the world. Then he made the earth round. . and laughed and laughed and
laughed.
I'm on two diets. I wasn't getting enough food on one.
I put my scales in the bathroom corner and that's where the little liar
will stay until it apologizes.
My mind is like an internet browser. At least 19 open tabs, 3 of them are
frozen, and I have no clue where the music is coming from.
Hard to believe I once had a phone attached to a wall, and when it rang, I
picked it up without knowing who was calling.
Apparently RSVPing to a wedding invitation "Maybe next time" isn't
the correct response.
She says I keep pushing her buttons. If that were true, I would have
found mute by now.
So you’ve been eating hot dogs and McChickens all your life, but you won’t take
the vaccine because you don’t know what’s in it. Are you kidding me?
Sometimes the Universe puts you in the same situation again to see if you’re
still a dumb-ass.
There is no such thing as a grouchy old person. The truth is that once
you get old, you stop being polite and start being honest.
